So with how we argue. We have to win at all costs because think of what is on the line here in a political argument. What happens if you lose a political discussion? Maybe humiliation, people will think that you’re some idiot, the smirks of your opponent. My goodness, there is a lot of nothing good in that. So instinctively, we must win and even when we lose, we don’t admit to a loss. When people are on the ropes, I’ve witnessed them start calling people names or disparaging them outright, I’ve seen damn near physical altercations, I’ve seen it all.
Also, nobody admits to losing a political discussion. Seriously, ask somebody to detail out the last time they lost. You won’t find anybody. I’ve asked about 20 people to tell me when they have lost. I apparently met 20 undefeated people.
There are no bad wins or losses with Upward Politics
So it’s mindsports and you have to win. But in Upward Politics, winning and losing isn’t that bad, because you’re playing an entirely different game. Winning in Upward Politics is walking away from a political conversation with more information or more to research after the conversation. Like that example with my friend and their anger at that politician, I had those four questions. That was a win.
A loss comes when you don’t get any information at all from a discussion. Maybe the person is telling you things you have already heard, or they annoyed and lash out that you’re asking them the questions. Either way, no information after the discussion? That’s a loss my friend, but not a bad one you can’t admit to. I don’t mind at all telling you guys that I lose political arguments. I lose them all the time and it’s fine. Well, for me. It’s actually kind of sad for the other person.
In Upward Politics, we are not in competition with other people. We are in competition with ourselves to find out as much information as we can. We do this knowing full well we’ll never get all of the information, but we will get larger and larger sample sizes as time goes on.
What’s it worth?
The thing is, personally, I can’t get into heated arguments because I must understand what I gain to win and what I stand to lose when getting into battle. Unless it’s 10,000 dollars in unmarked bills that I stand to win, it’s not much other than smugness of the win. That and two bucks won’t even buy a cup of coffee anymore. What can I lose? This friend or family member, or at least create tension going forward. Not worth the gamble.
Deflect the Tension and Drill Down
Now sometimes, you’re going to start to get heated no matter what. If I have somebody that is telling me their views and they are trying to be in-your-face about it, then I let them talk until they are done. Then I will ask them for another viewpoint on the very same topic they just gave me. I will ask them to deliver it without snark, disparagement, or arrogance.
This will prevent them from taking a mocking tone with you when they describe what they think the other side thinks. Often times, they will still do it because they can’t help themselves. It will probably sound like “Well, these people believe this because of this”. They will put some stank on it because of their contempt for the opposite side.
It’s ok though because you know somebody who actually believes the opposite of the speaker really wouldn’t use a snarky tone when explaining their viewpoint. They would say their view calmly if openly asked with none of the stank the speaker used. So once they are done with that viewpoint, you are going to ask them for another delivered in the same manner.
Exhaust, complement, and explain
Rinse and repeat my friends until they can say no more. Often times people stop at two. Tell them that their points were well articulated and thank them for their opinion. But then tell them that you will add it to your knowledge base, but not accept it as being right. Because there are still more opinions to go. Give them the math we went over earlier, the 200 million people example. Tell them its Upward Politics and direct them to our website, unless of course, you make a judgment that they just want to be combative and enjoy being angry.
Sometimes, these people can’t be helped…… yet. It may take a while for them to start seeing other people doing it too before they climb aboard. But just know that they are clutching onto only a small amount, while you are looking to build. You will surpass what they know if you haven’t already.